What do you say to taking chances?
by elle-mae-xx
Summary: CO-WRITTEN WITH FAEMELODY Luckily, Eddie doesn't let Rachel give up on them too easily. He doesn't let her keep running, and if she does, he makes sure he's always right behind her. Set at the beginning of series 4, without the Melissa/Eddie storyline.


Now was his chance, he had waited all day to tell her how he felt. Each time he caught her eye, he thanked his lucky stars that she was standing in front of him again. There were moments when he had flashbacks to the time he saw her in hospital, but he had yet to mention that to her. He had visited only once, knowing that she wouldn't appreciate it once she woke up. But he had held her hand despite the wires and prayed to any God that would listen. And now, he vowed to make her his by the end of the day. Having to find out through members of the LEA how she was doing had hurt him to his core, and he needed something to change.

The latest candidate had finally left and even though Rachel was convinced she was the right one, he didn't feel it himself. But as their eyes locked, he noticed the spark was back. Her fighting spirit had returned and she was Rachel again. His Rachel. Now was his moment, and he took a small step towards her in order to begin the speech he had been writing mentally for 6 long weeks. However, his moment was interrupted when Melissa returned with a note and the news that someone had a gun in the school. The look of fear that crossed Rachel's face immediately broke his heart, and he instantly felt the need to protect her.

"Eddie, I can't." She whispered brokenly, and he could tell she was fighting back tears. In that moment, Eddie wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and take her away from everything. Away from the pain and stress that came with running a school. But she was stronger than this. Plus, she'd probably slap him for even trying.

"Of course you can." He promised, before explaining to her exactly how the situation was going to go. He would be lying if he said he wasn't thinking of her safety on parr with that of the students, wanting her away from any danger. Before they parted with their roles firmly established, he couldn't resist pulling her close and planting a kiss to her forehead. She wasn't expecting it, but he strolled out of the office before she could react or truly process what had happened.

His plans of talking to Rachel after school were quickly destroyed. When she'd emerged from the school with Denzil in tow, he'd had an almost irrepressible urge to enfold her in his arms, to ask her what on earth she'd been thinking, to hug her tightly while finding out how could she have done something so stupid? But the school was watching, and an eleven-year-old was being arrested, so he settled for tearing into her instead, quietly enough that no one else would overhear.

He didn't know whether to be pleased or irritated when she snapped back at him, all fierceness and resolution and none of the borderline panic he'd seen earlier.

And then there was a flood of kids, of stunned teachers attempting some modicum of control as they headed back into school, jostling and whispering and already on their phones. He dreaded to think what was going to be in the papers in the morning. And somewhere in the crush he and Rachel were separated, and by the time he'd broken up a fight and delivered a lost group of year sevens to their class Rachel had almost made it back out of the school, bag on her shoulder.

"Rachel!"

She turned, not quite quick enough to hide the tired frown on her face. "What Eddie? I've got to go to the station…"

"I know. I'm coming with you."

She shook her head. "No, I need you here-,"

"Everyone else will be here," he interrupted. "I'm coming. Just let me grab my things, they're only upstairs."

She looked torn, but nodded, and true to her word stayed right where she was as he dashed off to grab his laptop bag, which was also where he stored his wallet and keys during the day. He guided her to his car with a hand on her back- when she frowned, starting to argue, he merely pinned her with a pointed look, but deliberately gentled his tone. "Do you really feel up to driving?"

She snapped her mouth shut, and climbed into the passenger seat.

The drive was almost silent- the radio played softly to itself while Eddie cast worried glances at the woman next to him. She had her arms almost wrapped around herself as she stared out the window, hiding her expression from him. When they eventually pulled up, she went to gather her bag but he stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm. "Are you okay?"

"It's not about me, right now." She pulled away, yanking the handle but paused again at his voice.

"Rachel."

Almost against her will, she looked back to him. The look of earnest concern on his face was like a sucker-punch right to her stomach; he was sweet, she thought absently, guilt wavering within her, and certainly didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of her mood. Almost of its own accord, her hand reached out to rest over his. "It's not about me right now," she repeated softly, but now with an entirely new meaning. He nodded.

"Later," he said softly, and she hid a shiver. Because he meant it as a promise, she knew, even if her heart raced as if it were a threat.

He followed her into the station, knowing at this point he would probably follow her anywhere. He was so in love with the woman, he'd do just about anything to keep her safe.

Seeing the Kelly's broke his heart, having to watch Marley and Sambuca parent their own mother due to how distressed she was. Earl seemed to pay no mind, was too busy winding up police officers to pay much attention. But when Rachel entered the room, she took total charge. Everyone had a warm drink within 5 minutes of her arriving, little Prince was having a cuddle with his eldest brother and Rose had finally stopped sobbing and was asking at the desk for more information. Sambuca was curled up on herself, and Rachel shook off her jacket to protect the girl from the cool temperatures that came from a police station waiting room. In that moment, her shirt shifted and Eddie caught sight of the scar on her chest. He had seen it before, of course, in an even worse state than it was now. He had held onto Rachel's hand as they changed the dressing. He'd tried not to look, but he hadn't been able to resist taking a peek at the wounds she had inflicted when trying to save the likes of Stuart Hourdley. She'd be happy to know it wasn't in vain, and he was on the road to recovery in a hospital far away, but he hated that she'd been hurt in the process.

Rachel caught Eddie looking and immediately recovered herself, her cheeks turning a deep red as she made sure no sign of her scar could be on show again. She fussed around Sambuca, avoiding Eddie's gaze as she couldn't handle the looks of pity.

Eddie ached to pull her aside. He'd seen her looks and wanted nothing more than to grab her and tell her that it didn't matter. That she was still beautiful, that her scars only added to that beauty. But at that moment, an officer informed them that Denzil had been charged and all hell broke loose. Marley practically dropped the baby in shock, while Sambuca and Rose burst into fresh tears. Rachel had a hard time keeping the girls in check, so Eddie took it amongst himself to take hold of the baby and put an arm around Marley. Earl stood in shock, not moving but looking ready to either punch the wall or cry. Something about his demeanour worried Eddie to his core, but now was no time to raise his concerns.

The shock had settled in and a taxi had been called to take the family home when Rachel pulled Rose aside. "Now's your chance." Rose looked ready to protest and narrowed her eyes, but Rachel shook her head and continued before she lost her chance. "You get yourself straight and look after those kids. Then, Denzil will be coming home to you and not to a support centre. You've got to hold it together Rose. Not Marley, not Sam, you." She locked eyes with Eddie, who signalled that the taxi had arrived. Rachel slowly walked Rose towards the door and handed her the bag that had been resting on the back of the pushchair. "We'll help you, but you need to help us." With that final comment, the family were whisked away and Rachel almost collapsed against the wall with both exhaustion and relief.

"Come on you, you need a drink." Eddie left no time to protest as he wrapped an arm around her waist and began walking to the car they had travelled in.

Her breath caught as she felt his arm slide around her, painfully aware of the heat from his hand as it burned through the thin material of her blouse. And confusion washed through her, because she knew he'd seen the scar so how could he bear to touch her, to hold her like this?

Half of her wanted to lean into him, the other half to jerk away. She chose a happy medium and instead slowed down, glancing at him uncertainly. "I just want to go home, Eddie…"

"The others need to see you, as headmistress," he reasoned, tugging her along and apparently not noticing her bafflement at his actions. "And you could definitely do with a drink."

She allowed him to guide her to the car, sliding in even as her stomach twisted uncomfortably, heart thumping. They completed yet another journey in silence; Rachel could hear her heart beating in her ears as she waited for Eddie to mention the scar, to question her. But he didn't. And when they arrived, and climbed out she expected for him to move away from her, to be distant and disgusted but instead he waited for her to round the car, giving her a half-smile and waiting for her to draw level with him. But she couldn't return it. "Look, I'm not sure that-,"

"Rach," he cut her off before she could sound another protest. "It'll be fine, I promise. Come on."

She attempted to protest again before they stepped inside, but somehow he convinced her and suddenly she was in the firing line again, faced with a group of angry staff who all seemed to blame her for what had happened, and wanted her to fix it. All the while, she thought, knowing who she was and what she'd done in her past.

She wanted to get out of there. So she pasted on an expression that didn't reveal how uncomfortable she was, gave assurances like a politician and when her phone rang practically prayed that Melissa would agree to pick her up. When the agreement came, she hid at the back for several minutes before fixing a tight smile on her lips and striding past everyone, hoping no one noticed her or that her knuckles were white where she was clutching her bag so tightly. But of course, Eddie did. Didn't he always notice her? she lamented slightly as she turned at his call.

"If you've really had it, I'll drive you home," he offered, accepting but not entirely pleased that she was leaving. And she smiled at him, because she knew he was enjoying himself but still willing to leave.

"I don't think anyone here should be driving tonight, do you?" she joked.

"Then we'll get a taxi."

The smile dropped from her face. His eyes didn't move away from hers, seriousness lining his features. How often did he look at her like this? Never… she could see the look in his eyes, and practically held her breath as his hand came to brush her hair back, cradling her head. "I just… wanna talk."

There was a split second where she almost agreed, almost leant into his head and into him, the force of how much she wanted this hitting her like a steam train. And then she remembered. Her scar, her past, her lies. And she pushed him away.

She barely remembered what she babbled, apologising and cutting him down at the same time before she ran, ran from him, from the situation, from the eyes of her staff. She'd been a fool to return, she thought. So desperate for normalcy, for the happiness she'd felt that she'd tricked herself into thinking she could go back as if nothing had happened. But she wasn't that person, couldn't be that person, if she'd ever been.

"Rachel!"

Of course he'd come after her.

She knew in her heart of hearts that he would, and part of her had been praying that she would be right. Her rational side hated how well he knew her, how he knew never to give up and to pursue her even when it's the opposite of what she said she wanted. But her irrational side, the side that erupted into butterflies whenever he was near, leapt with joy as he called out after her. She stopped in her tracks, but didn't turn. Melissa was pulled up right in front of her, and she knew she could make it if she sprinted into the car. But she stopped, her head arguing reasons to go and her heart keeping her rooted on the spot.

"She's waiting for you, I don't want to make you stay Rach. Your sister, I take it?" Rachel closed her eyes as she realized her plan had been rumbled, and she definitely had some explaining to do.

"I just, needed someone there Eddie. After.. everything. Someone to trust." As soon as the words left her mouth, she wanted the ground to swallow her whole. She felt sick to her stomach, knowing the words she'd so carelessly chosen would be held against her for a long time.

"And what does that make me then?" There it was, the one question Rachel had no answers for. The guilt hit her like a sucker punch to the stomach, so much so that she forgot how to breathe for a second. She took a few deep breaths before finally plucking up the courage to face him. The look of hurt on his face broke her heart in two, and she longed to apologize by throwing her arms around him; burying her face in his neck and staying there for the foreseeable future. Instead, she offered the most genuine smile she could muster and looked deep into his eyes.

"Let me tell Melissa to go, I have a lot of explaining to do. And I didn't mean that Eddie." She touched his arm before turning back and practically sprinting to where Melissa was waiting for her.

"Let me guess, my services are no longer needed?" Melissa rolled her eyes after rolling down the window, being able to read her sister like a book. She knew all about Rachel's feeling for Eddie, even if she was yet to voice them herself.

"I'm sorry?" Rachel offered weakly, not really meaning the words but grateful to her for understanding. Melissa simply waved her off and started the car off, calling out to her about keeping her updated.

"Where do we go from here?" Rachel turned around, and then realized the double meaning of her question.

Eddie looked at her, half tired and half hopeful. "I want to talk, Rach. Really talk. But I don't want to force you into something you don't want."

She was already shaking her head before he finished, blinking back tears. "You never would. I know that."

"Then what?" he demanded, voice rising. "We were… before, we were… well, I thought we were going somewhere! Was I wrong?"

She shook her head, lips pressed together.

"Then what? What changed, Rachel?"

"I did!" she managed to get out, arms hugging herself as one hand pressed against her mouth to hold back sobs. Confusion flashed across his face.

"I don't understand," he pleaded. She shook her head, hand drifting to cover the scar that lay hidden beneath her clothes. He followed the gesture she didn't even realise she was doing, and frowned. "You think your scar matters?"

She visibly jumped. When she followed his gaze, she snatched her hand away, clutching her jacket around her as tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Rachel…"

"Don't," she croaked out. "Please don't."

"I have to." He stepped closer, for once ignoring her flinch as he brought his arms up to grip hers. "You have to know it doesn't matter."

"Of course it does!"

He shook his head. "No! You're special, Rachel. Really special. Nothing could change that, especially not some stupid scar!"

"Eddie, you saw it! It's…" she faltered, throat clogging.

"It's just a mark, Rach. A silly mark to tell the world how idiotically brave you are." He smiled at her, attempting to make her laugh and it almost worked.

"I don't understand how you can think that."

"What, that you're idiotically brave?"

She groaned. "Eddie."

And he smiled, because he'd succeeded in making the tears stop. "A scar couldn't change a thing, Rachel," he murmured, brushing her hair back from her face. And she stared at him, with wide, bewildered eyes and tears tracks on her cheeks.

The door behind them banged, shouts filling the air from inside and it was enough to make her flinch, curling in on herself slightly; Eddie didn't consciously move, but suddenly he was closer than he had been, shielding her automatically. "Let me drive you home," he offered quietly. "And if you're up to it, then we can talk."

Her gaze flicked to his, filled with apprehension and confusion. But she nodded slowly, and he had to clamp viciously down on the triumphant grin that threatened to break across his face.

The drive was quiet, with Rachel's mind running overdrive and replaying every second of their previous conversation. Why hadn't Eddie been repulsed by her scar, in the same way she had when she first saw it? It was a reminder to her of all the mistakes she had made, and the awful day that her past had been revealed to the school. Eddie noticed her sat in her own thoughts and decided to let her be, knowing that just her being in the car with him was a step in the right direction.

Before they both knew it, they had pulled up in front of Rachel's place and they were plunged into radio silence when the car engine was switched off.

"Rach?" Eddie pulled her attention back to him, and she dug her nails into her own palms to stop her hands from shaking so much. "You can get out now and we can leave this. I don't want to push you." He offered, but barely stopped for a breath before continuing. "But I want you to invite me in and finally let me say everything I've wanted to say since the day we met. It's up to you." He offered her a small smile, one that hopefully hid how truly nervous he felt. Rachel saw right through him however, and lay her hand over his.

"I'll put the kettle on, let's go." She gave his hand a squeeze before leaving the car quickly, not giving herself enough time to regret her decision. Eddie allowed himself a few moments to gather his thoughts before following her inside. He could count on one hand the amount of times he had been inside Rachel's place, and they were only fleeting visits to pick up paperwork or hand over important documents when they'd been forgotten. He looked around as he followed her through to the kitchen, and smiled to himself at how it was decorated. However, something about her stopped him in his tracks and he lost all train of thought about something so trivial as the decor of her hallway. He approached her and she looked up to offer him a small smile while filling their mugs with steaming water, and that small gesture had him acting on impulse. Eddie stalked straight over to her and took hold of her hips as soon as she had placed the kettle down. Completely out of character, he learnt down swiftly and planted a kiss to her lips. He didn't feel her react at first, and he pulled back as she tensed in his arms. "We'll talk soon, I promise." He muttered, their lips so close that they touched with every word he spoke. "I just need to do this, like I've wanted to since I saw you." With that, he swept back down and kissed her again, this time with much more desperation. He pulled her against him and she reacted immediately, throwing her arms around his neck as her lips moved against his.

Her head swam with a million thoughts being pulled in different directions, but the only one that won out and seemed to matter was just how right Rachel felt to finally be in his arms and to be kissed like this.

His hands pulled her closer, pressing them together and somewhere absently, in the back of her mind she realised that although he practically clutched her to him (not that she was complaining), he wasn't pinning her- one arm was wrapped around her lower back, pulling her closer against him while the other was cupping the back of her head, more supportive than controlling. His hands didn't grope, or 'accidentally' brush against her or hold her too tightly and prevent her from moving away if she wanted. Anything that other men might have done... that other men had done.

The realisation stole her breath away.

She kissed him harder, practically melting into his embrace and smiling into the kiss. He noticed, his own lips curling upwards in response. Neither were quite sure how, but all of a sudden they'd moved backwards, and Eddie was pressing Rachel against the side of the kitchen, the hard edge digging into the small of her back.

She didn't much care.

He trailed kisses along her jawline, resisting the urge to smirk as she tilted her head back to grant him access, fingers twining around his collar. He made his way back again, pressing his lips to the corner of her's and delighting in the way she was responding to him. She was losing her mind, she thought, aware that he'd trailed his hands downwards, intending to lift her onto the side.

Hesitation flickered through her. "Eddie..." He stopped instantly, and despite that fact that she'd instigated it, she still had to suppress a groan, opening eyes she hadn't realised she'd closed. Eddie was breathless, staring at her with dark eyes. When their gazes met, he swallowed thickly. She was about to apologise, pulling her lip between her teeth when he beat her to it.

"I'm sorry- I shouldn't have done that..."

"I'm not complaining," she assured him quickly, reaching out to stroke her thumb over his cheek. "I just..."

"We should talk," he finished, and she nodded, smiling at his understanding. She quickly finished making the tea and led him into the living room, curling into the corner of the sofa with her mug in her hands. Eddie didn't miss the defensive position she'd settled into.

"Eddie, I don't know how to do this," she admitted quietly.

"Do what? Talk?"

"Yes," she agreed, and he blinked in surprise. "And... everything else."

"Everything else?" he questioned, baffled. "Rachel, I'm not a mind reader. You have to explain, and be honest..."

"I can't!" She shot upright, putting the mug down before she spilt it. "Eddie, don't you see? Nobody else in the world knows as much about me as you do! In any relationship, romantic or otherwise, I've never..." she flailed, struggling to express what she was thinking.

Eddie understood anyway. "Trusted them enough?"

Guilt washed through her, but she nodded. "Exactly," she whispered.

"And now?" Eddie questioned, although Rachel's expression remained blank so he knew he needed to explain further. "Do you trust me?" The words felt as though they were thrown towards Rachel at 100 miles per hour. She blew our her cheeks in exasperation before answering, not really needing to think about her answer.

"I trust you Eddie." She replied confidently, and that's all Eddie allowed her to say before she could take the time to second guess her answer.

"Then trust that I won't hurt you." He knew he was asking a lot, but he needed to finally voice everything he had been wanting to say to her for months. Rachel looked at him with wide eyes, her head cocked to the side as if he was whispering words to her in a foreign language. "You've had it rough Rach, I know that. But I won't push you, I won't ask you to do anything you're uncomfortable with. We can go as slow as you need to, I won't ever ask for more." His words were a promise, and he moved towards her on the sofa so he could place a hand on her knee. Their eyes were locked at his did so and neither felt the need to change that, Eddie's could feel Rachel was holding in a breath and he ached to pull her into his arms and kiss away her worries. "But, I want to know if we're on the same page; if we're in this together." Deep down, Eddie felt just as insecure as she did. He was out of his depths entirely, having never felt this way about someone before. He didn't want to admit that he needed the reassurance, but he knew for his own sanity that he couldn't continue to peruse her if his attention wasn't wanted.

Rachel noticed the look in his eyes, felt it was like looking in the mirror with how similar they were. Her heart broke for all he had been through, and the rejection he must be feeling. She longed to reassure him, but a lump formed in her throat when she tried to speak.

Eddie took her silence for an answer and decided to swallow his pride by leaving with what little dignity he had left. Her trusting him clearly wasn't enough, not for it to progress to a romantic level anyway.

Eddie stood to leave and it took Rachel's mind a few moments to process what was happening in front of her, before she realised that she had yet to speak. She'd spent so long thinking of what to say that she'd been sat in silence ever since Eddie asked for an answer. She snapped from her trance and grabbed hold onto Eddie's wrist before he slid away from her entirely. "Please wait. Please.. don't leave yet." She practically begged, overcome with emotion at the thought of having to watch him leave. "I meant it, I'm no good at this. But I want to try. That page you're on? I'm there too." She admitted, standing so she could look at his face and see his reaction. She just hoped it was enough and she hadn't lost her chance.

His gaze instantly softened. "All in, Rachel," he warned.

She swallowed thickly, but nodded. "All in."

The slight fear in her eyes had him feeling like he'd been kicked. "Hey..." He reached out, entwined their fingers. "We'll go as fast or as slow as you want. No pressure."

"This scares me, Eddie. It really scares me," she admitted.

"Why?"

She looked startled at the question, struggling to find the words but he simply waited, thumb rubbing gentle circles over the back of her hand. "It... it matters. You matter. And I'm going to mess this up and when I do..."

"You're not going to mess it up," he assured her. But she shook her head.

"I will. I always do."

"But this isn't always," he said gently. "This is me. And Rach, I know you. We're good together, we've already proved that."

"Not in a relationship we haven't!"

"Is that what scares you? Being in a relationship?"

"Of course it does!" she snapped, pulling away from him to wrap her arms around herself. "How can it not scare you?"

"Because it's you."

She whirled around to stare at him, stunned. After several beats had passed, she let out a disbelieving laugh. "Eddie... don't you realise how incredibly screwed up I am?"

"Don't you realise how bloody brilliant you are?" he countered. The incredulous look didn't leave her face, but she didn't pull away as he stepped forward to cup her cheek. "We're all a little messed up Rach. I'm not asking for a miracle- just for you to take a risk. Take a risk on us…"

He risked lightly brushing his lips over hers, fully aware that her reaction could go either way.

It apparently paid off, because she didn't step away, but instead stepped forwards, sliding her arms around his waist to bury her face against his shirt. He immediately embraced her back, pleased to discover she fit perfectly into his arms.

"Don't let me fall," she whispered.

"Never."

His words were a promise, she could tell as much by the sincerity in his voice. "I wish I could things could be different, I wish I could be different. You deserve better." She finally moved out of his arms as she spoke and moved them both back to the sofa, sitting much closer to him this time. It gave Eddie the opportunity to reach over and grab her hands, their sides completely stuck together as he planted a kiss to her cheek before continuing. He loved that he was able to do that, that her previous admission of wanting to give their relationship a go meant that he was free to plant kisses to her skin whenever he saw fit. "I wish I could be beautiful for you." Her words were a whispered secret, her deepest fears laid on the table in front of her for them both to see. He had never heard such rubbish in his life, and couldn't wait to tell Rachel as much.

"The moment I laid eyes on you, I had the biggest stab of hated and jealousy for you over taking my job." They both let out a short laugh at the memory, of Eddie being convinced he would continue as acting Head only to he introduced to Rachel days later. "But despite all that, my heart raced because of how beautiful you were." He finally admitted it, and his cheeks turned pink as if he was finally speaking his darkest secret. "And now, even more so. Because of I know of your past, and how unbelievably strong you are. Getting to stand by your side every day is a privilege, and I thank my lucky stars that it was you the LEA chose to take over from Jack. You changed my life Rach, in so many ways. I can't pinpoint the exact moment I fell in love with you, but I know it hit me like a tonne of bricks." He swallowed a lump in his throat and Rachel leant over to cup his cheek in her hand. He gave her a warm smile before containing. "You are beautiful, and I just want to be able to tell you that."

Rachel didn't know if she wanted the ground to swallow her whole due to embarrassment or to let out a few tears with how sincere his words had been. It was everything she had ever longed to hear from someone before, and she knew Eddie meant every word. "But.. what about the staff? And the students?" Rachel questioned as she was fighting a losing battle with herself, knowing she wanted nothing more than to jump into Eddie's arms and let him walk her into the sunset.

"We'll be discreet. And professional." Eddie answered immediately, having fully expected this. Rachel was going to find any reason she could to stop herself being happy, as deep down she felt she wasn't worthy of it. But he knew this, and felt prepared to be as patient as she needed and give as many answers to her never-ending questions.

"My past?" She was grasping at straws, trying to give Eddie a reason to leave and prevent any hurt for them both along the way.

"Oh for gods sake Rachel, just accept it. We're going to work. Our feelings are real and I'm in this for the long haul." He tilted her chin with his fingers and looked deep into her eyes. "Now shut up, stop stressing and let me kiss you."

She was so startled by his words that she reflexively burst into laughter, drawing a look of shock from him that quickly grew into a satisfied grin. Her eyes met his, saw the amusement and she couldn't stop herself from leaning forward to kiss the expression from his face. She didn't pull all the way back though, resting her forehead on his instead. "Okay," she agreed in a murmur. "Okay."

A slow smile spread across his face. "Yeah?"

She nodded, and then let out a small squeak of surprise when he surged forward without warning to kiss her fiercely. The surprise quickly diminished, however, and she found herself leaning into him, one hand sliding around his neck to anchor herself.

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to be able to do this?" Eddie asked her, quickly stealing another before she could kick her brain into gear to reply.

She shot a small, hesitant smile at him. "Probably about as long as I have," she admitted quietly. She was glad she had when immediately, his whole face lit up. She couldn't stop herself from reaching up, tracing her thumb along his cheekbone. "This still scares me, Eddie. But I do want this. Very much."

He turned his head to kiss her thumb. "I know. But I meant what I said- this is going to work. I know it is."

"Optimist," she accused with a smile. He stuck his tongue out at her.

"Worrier."

She smiled faintly, but looked distracted, chewing her lip.

"What is it?"

"Can we… keep this quiet? For a little while?" she requested tentatively. She wished she hadn't when she saw his expression drop, however much he fought to hide it.

"You want to keep this a secret?" he couldn't hide the disappointment in his tone either, nor the slight note of hurt.

"No!" she shook her head quickly, catching hold of his hand. "No, Eddie, no secrets. I just… the thought of Steph Haydock crowing at me first thing tomorrow, or having the kids gossiping about my private life yet again…"

"I get it," he assured her.

But she didn't think he did. "I'm not asking to hide this," she added, and his expression cleared slightly.

"No?"

"No. No, I just… don't want to advertise it?"

"So, no snogging you in the corridors then?"

And she relaxed, because if he was joking then they were okay. "Nor anywhere else on school property either."

He pouted dramatically. "I suppose I could live with that," he sighed, but leant in close to her. "Though I will make no such promises about kissing you every so often when no one's around…"

She thought she should probably protest that, but his lips were on hers again and her argument suddenly seemed a lot less sound.

The next morning, Eddie was woken extra early by his alarm. He groaned in protest but soon realised that the sound echoed onto the body next to him, which had him suddenly feeling very awake. Rachel stretched beside him and had turned to face him before the shock had even wore off. She was here, next to him and laying in his arms like he had only ever dreamed she would be.

"You need to go home.. to get some new clothes." Rachel commented matter of factly, with sleep still laced in her voice. However, she knew their plan to keep things quiet would not go well if he arrived in the same clothes as the previous day. Even more so if they were wrinkled having spent their night in a messy ball on the floor of Rachel's bedroom. Nobody would know that, of course, but she was sure it would raise some eyebrows. Eddie nodded his head in agreement but showed no signs of moving, instead moving his body closer to her and planting a kiss to her shoulder. They had discussed how to handle the situation with the staff from here on out. Well, Rachel had spoken and Eddie had agreed.. anything to keep her happy and falling asleep in his arms. It had felt surreal, just to be able to hold her and engage in soft pillow talk as they fell to sleep. They hadn't gone further than kissing, but that was more than enough for the both of them. Neither had wanted to part the previous night so when Rachel suggested him spending the night, his heart raced with excitement of spending the intimate moments with her. They were to be as discreet as possible at work of course, but would not lie if asked outright. That would come eventually, Rachel was sure of it. But she hoped for at least a few weeks of calm and quiet with Eddie before they were faced with the endless questions and comments that would come their way.

"I'll get a taxi to work, meet you there? I'll even have a coffee waiting for you." She tried to lift his mood, but Rachel too was having trouble with breaking the warm cocoon of blankets they had found themselves in. Her car was still in the car park of the school, and she couldn't fathom how it had only been yesterday that Eddie had escorted her out of the school to deal with the Kelly situation.

"Mmmm." Eddie mumbled something that sounded like an agreement, but Rachel had to check to see he hadn't fallen back to sleep.

"Eddie.. get up." She shoved him lightly against his chest, moving him away from her and breaking their duvet nest. She rolled her eyes, wondering how she would be able to do this every morning before work.

"Slave driver." He finally pulled himself out of bed and childishly stuck his tongue out at her, but one glance at the clock proved that Rachel was right. They'd need to get a move on if they were to separate and get ready before meeting at work and pretending their evening was uneventful. They still had the fallout from the gun incident to deal with, the entire situation feeling like a lifetime ago to them both.

"Get used to it.." She placed a quick kiss to his cheek as she passed him. "I'm heading in the shower, I'll see you soon?"

"I can't even join you? I hate you." Eddie groaned dramatically, holding his hands to his heart as if he had been wounded. Rachel only laughed at his antics, ignoring him in favour of getting her day started and knowing she would be rejoining him at the school soon. Eddie waited until he heard the shower run before heading out of the door, letting himself bask in the pure feeling of happiness that he didn't seem to be able to shake.. and he hoped he never would. He just hoped that he would be able to keep his happiness under wraps, for as long as Rachel wanted him too.

Rachel, amazingly, managed to get to school early enough that no one was there to notice she'd climbed out of a taxi instead of driving. She walked slowly through the empty corridors, uncomfortably reminded of the day before, when she'd been walking the same routes only then she'd been painfully aware of the armed officers outside. Now, it was the knowledge of how at home she felt here that she was aware of.

A large part of that was due to Eddie, she could admit. The perfect mix of challenging and supportive, he was half the reason she was still here.

"Morning miss!"

"Morning girls." And there was the other half, she thought with a faint smile as she passed the two. The students here were something else.

She pushed into her office, dropping her bag and wincing when she noted the number of messages she had, presumably from reporters about the previous day. She'd need to release a statement, she thought, and make sure there were extra teachers outside the school for the next couple of days just in case any reporters decided to try to break the rules a little and talk to the kids. She ran a hand through her hair, grabbed the duty roster and began to pencil in another column, frowning as she attempted to create something that wouldn't cause a mutiny.

All of a sudden, a hand on her back had her jumping three foot in the air. "Eddie!"

"I called out!" he protested, holding up his hands and struggling not to laugh at her reaction. "But you were in a world of your own!"

A glance at the clock informed her just how long she'd been sat there. "This is a nightmare," she sighed, gesturing at the papers.

"Give them here. And I believe I was promised coffee?"

She rolled her eyes, but went to fetch it and by the time she'd returned, sections of her neat writing had been scribbled out and the empty boxes scrawled in. "Done," Eddie beamed proudly. She looked at it.

"That won't work. Susanne doesn't like Wednesdays and Michael never gets here before eight forty. And Grantley certainly won't agree to doing two duties in one day…"

"Well, they'll just have to swallow it," he dismissed. "It's only for a week or two, everyone can manage. It's not like there's no reason."

A knock on the door saved her from responding. "Oh good, you're both here," Kim ducked inside, dumping down an armful of folders. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Is it urgent?" Rachel questioned. "Only we need to get this distributed, draft a statement for the press, a report for the governors and get ready for the police- they're coming in this morning as part of the investigation."

Rachel's head was already spinning, she wasn't sure how much more she could take having not been at school for half an hour yet. She felt eyes on her and looked up to see Eddie, his warm smile giving her an extra burst of energy her body so desperately needed. She answered Kim's questions about a case conference she had attended for a child only the morning before, which felt like a lifetime ago now. Another knock at the door had Rachel failing to hide a groan this time, and she shouted rather abruptly for whoever it was to come in. Suddenly, she began to question what had been wrong with her only yesterday when she thought that hiring her own sister to work for her was a good idea.

Melissa stood beaming at her, clutching onto Phillip's shoulder as he stood next to her. Her nephew looked nervous to say the least, and Rachel immediately took pity on him. She ushered them both in the room and told them to sit on the sofas, throwing an apologetic look at Eddie along the way. She had yet to apologise for her comments about why she had wanted Mellisa near, and made a mental note to do just that as soon as they were alone again.

Eddie studied the two women as they spoke, trying to work out the differences and similarities between Rachel and her sister. But he continued to be distracted by the way the sunlight was catching the highlights in Rachel's hair or the sparkle in her eyes whenever she mentioned the students of her school. He was sure he noticed both Kim and Rachel's nephew giving him funny looks, so knew he needed to practice reining in his feelings when in the company of others. His thoughts were interrupted when Rachel introduced them both formally to Eddie and Kim, choosing not to keep up the facade by pretending they were strangers. Lies never lasted long in a place like Waterloo Road anyway.

With the formalities over with, Kim offered to show Phillip to his form room. Melissa decided to tag along and get a better feel for her surroundings, leaving Eddie and Rachel finally alone again. The opportunity was not going to be missed by Eddie, who started the walk towards her as he began to speak.

"Rachel, we still need to.."

"Talk about Melissa and what I said. I know, I know. I've just been.. occupied." She offered him a scathing look that had him letting out a full belly laugh, and Eddie took his chance to move his body closer to her.

"I wasn't talking about your sister, but we can discuss that later." Rachel furrowed her brows in confusion and Eddie took that as a sign to continue. "Yesterday, you.. the gun. Another chance that I could have lost you. After the fire, Jesus Rach. I haven't been myself since." He admitted slowly, closing his eyes as the painful memories washed over him of that awful day. Hearing that she'd gone back inside, frantically looking around for her and asking anyone he could where she was. Being physically restrained by the firemen as he fought and screamed to get back inside the burning building.

Rachel placed a hand on his back and pulled him back to the present, in which he shook his head and continued to talk. "You've got to stop doing that. Stop putting your life in danger, it's too precious.. Especially to me."

She bit her lip, ducking her head to hide the flush that spread across her cheeks. No one had ever cared like he did, and she wasn't entirely sure how to react yet. "I promise," she swore quietly, and he trailed his knuckles over her cheek, shooting her a crooked smile when the movement had her glancing up at him, eyes stormy and conflicted. "He was just a little boy, Eddie."

"I know." he stepped closer to press a kiss to her head, warmed by the fact that she leant into him for comfort.

"The press will be brutal," she murmured, resting her head on his chest.

"Our kids aren't pushovers. And you've already got a plan in place."

She nodded silently, not moving away from the warmth of his body as she deliberately closed her eyes and took three careful, deep breaths. Only then did she step backwards, squaring her shoulders and standing straight. "You're going to be late for form," she reminded him and he nodded, but made no attempts to leave as he studied her.

"You okay?"

She smiled. "Of course. Off you go- can't have the deputy being late."

He finally did, and she let her smile drop. Today was going to be brutal, she knew, and no amount of platitudes would change that. With a sigh, she grabbed a pen and sat down, preparing to tackle the press release.

Meanwhile, Eddie found an odd quietness in the corridors, the usual shouts and laughs of the kids muted somewhat, glances being made over shoulders and- perhaps most tellingly- an absent of the usual bangs and thumps that came with having a few hundred rowdy teens in a confined space. It would be back to normal in time, he knew, but until then this was just plain odd.

Rachel felt as though she spent the first hour of her day in limbo, jumping each time the phone rang and dreading the sound of someone knocking on the door. She had grown to expect the worse with Waterloo Road, but that had doubled in recent days. When someone interrupted her for the fourth time, she got up to open the door herself. She pulled on the handle rather abruptly, causing Melissa to almost topple inside.

"Jeez Rach, what's wrong with you?" Melissa caught herself and walked into the office, making herself at home and settling down comfortably on the sofa. Rachel eyes her suspiciously, looking at the time.

"I'm sure you've got a job to be doing Mel.. please tell me you haven't bought any notes with you this time?" She cringed at the sound of worry in her own voice, but couldn't held the fear that was tickling at her spine.

"No notes, and I'm sorry that came from me. If I'd of known, I'd of stuck around." Melissa added truthfully, the guilt eating up at her at the obliviousness she had to the situation. She couldn't of known, of course. But she was already home and preparing for her new job when she'd heard of what had happened. "How are you holding up?" As much as they had grown apart, the fire had really brought the two sisters back together in terms of closeness, something Melissa was determined to keep hold of. Her heart had ached while watching Rachel on the road to recovery, and she'd admired how strong her sister truly was.

Rachel contemplated the question for a short moment, before taking a deep breath. How was she holding up? She wasn't sure where to start. But she knew she was doing a lot better today than she would be if the previous night had not happened, so for that she allowed herself to smile.

"I've been better." Rachel replied honestly, her point being proven when the secretary's phone rang and she jumped from her seat. She shrugged her shoulders at Melissa in explanation, not having words to describe how she was feeling. "I'll get there, everyone's been great. The staff, most of the students. Even Eddie said.."

"Oh yes, how is Eddie?" Melissa jumped in immediately, wanting to know all about her sisters love life. Their feelings for each other were clear as day to anyone with eyes, but Melissa knew they had not been voiced. Unless something had happened, which might explain the smile on Rachel's face when his name was mentioned.

"How is he? I'm sure he's fine, why?" Rachel couldn't help the jealously that flared inside of her at Melissa's question, and she realised her mistake when Melissa's eyebrows touched the top of her forehead in shock. "I mean.." Rachel tried to backtrack, but Melissa was now all over her comments.

"Rach, I know the way you look at each other. Just know if he hurts you, I'll ruin his life." Melissa knew nothing would have changed with her sister in the aspect of she felt uncomfortable discussing personal matters. She hated having to share her feelings, so Eddie must be pretty special if she had done so with him.

Rachel laughed at that comment and allowed herself to relax slightly, grateful that she was able to be open with her sister once again. They'd lost touch when Rachel left home, and it wasn't until the previous summer that Melissa knew the full extent of Rachel's ordeal. Rachel now had a nephew to form a relationship with, so it seemed neither had it easy. "Nobody knows though Mel, they can't. It's complicated."

"I figured that, it can't look good with Eddie sleeping with his boss." Melissa joked, but Rachel paled at the comment. She knew it was the type of reaction she was going to get from staff, but hearing it still forced all of her previous worries to the surface.

Melissa noticed, and frowned. "Rach? I was only joking..."

She sighed, smiling weakly at her. "I know," she assured her tiredly, slumping back and rubbing her eyes. "I just... God Mel, what if I'm making a mistake?"

"A mistake?"

"You're right, I am his boss. And I'm... not relationship material. I'm going to screw this up and then we're still going to have to work together and-,"

"Rachel!" Melissa cut her off, shifting seats so that she could grab her hand. "Who cares if you're his boss? He obviously thinks the world of you- I'd kill to have someone look at me the way you two look at each other."

"Really?"

"Yes!" She half laughed, squeezing her hand. "Even Phil's dad never looked at me like that. You two really have something, Rach, don't be afraid of it."

"I just... I know what everyone is going to be saying Mel. My past and the fact he's my subordinate..."

"Oh, screw everyone," she said crossly. "Let them say it! If I hear them I'll slap them all into silence."

At that, Rachel burst into laughter. "I'm not sure how helpful that would be."

"Satisfying though," Mel pointed out cheerfully. Rachel snickered, resting her head on her sister's shoulder as Melissa continued more soberly. "Rachel, you are the strongest person I know. Your whole life you've never given a damn what anybody thought of you- why would you start now?"

She was silent for a moment. "Because... this matters. Eddie, this school; they matter, I don't want to mess it up."

"I think the fact that you're worried about that is probably a good thing. It means you'll fight like hell to do the opposite," her sister pointed out quietly.

"I didn't think of that..."

"That's what you need me for," Melissa sounded smug, and Rachel huffed out a laugh.

"You're so silly."

"One of us has to be," she muttered good-naturedly, twisting to squeeze her in a hug. "I should get back- are you going to be okay?"

"Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually need a babysitter," Rachel said dryly. Mel laughed and left in her usual whirlwind, and Rachel found herself alone again, but a great deal calmer than she'd been before.

Rachel felt like throwing the phone against the wall, and had to prevent herself from screaming at the reporter on the other end of the line.

"I've said already, no comment." She practically growled, slamming the phone down to the receiver in frustration. At that moment, Eddie walked into the room and Rachel immediately felt herself calm. He closed the door behind him and she walked straight over to him, practically falling into him and burying her face against his chest. She wasn't used to this, the feeling of needing someone else and relying on them to make her day better. Rachel had spent so long only being able to trust herself, to not be able to trust that she wouldn't end up hurt and even more alone.

"I won't ask how your day's going." Eddie commented as he moved them around to her side of the desk, sitting her down before taking hold of her shoulders and moving his thumbs around to relax her muscles.

Rachel leant back against his hands, letting out a soft sigh at how great it felt. "No need to ask, I'm already done with today." She looked up at him and offered him a smile, not wanting to take her work stress out on him. Things would be hard with them both working together and being in a relationship, but she knew things would start to get messy if her feelings in her professional life transferred into her personal one.

Eddie quickly leant down to kiss her forehead before squeezing her shoulders and moving back to face her at the other side of her desk. Rachel almost groaned when he released her, missing his touch immediately. But this was safer territory for them, they couldn't be caught in any compromising positions whilst at work. "How about I improve it?" Eddie asked, and Rachel raised her brow in question before he continued. "Rachel Mason, would you allow me to officially take you on our first date tonight?" He bowed dramatically, mimicking the action of tipping his hat in her direction for added effect.

Rachel couldn't help but laugh, rolling her eyes fondly at his display. However, she found her mood lifted immediately. This way, she'd have something to get her through the day and give her something to look forward to no matter what else the day threw at her. She stood up slowly, putting on her best poker face until she stood right in front of him. Their eyes met the entire way, and only when she was in front of him did she let her pretence fall. She kissed him cheek quickly and took hold of his hand. "It's a date, Mr Lawson." Eddie's smile could have lit the Eiffel Tower, kissing her hand romantically as she blushed under his gaze. Their moment was broken when the phone rang once more, an Eddie realised he needed to get back for his next lesson. But the plans were made, and their day was improved immensely.

Rachel was grateful for it, as by the end of the day she was ready to throw something. Eventually, in order to get any work done she'd unplugged her phone and ordered the office to screen the calls; unfortunately, that only encouraged the reporters to begin calling from mobile numbers that they couldn't block in case it was a parent. The kids had been oddly quiet all day, she knew, and when home time came around she wasn't surprised to see a few parents hovering anxiously by the gates.

She watched the children filter out of the building from her office, those who grew too boisterous immediately tempered by the glances of their school mates. Grantley was begrudgingly stood at the gates alongside a fellow English teacher and one of the SEN staff, all three eyeing the adults around suspiciously. There was a group of reporters, but they had quickly learnt that morning that attempting to get anywhere near the school resulted in a rapid expulsion by the police or security and seemed to content to film from a distance.

Rachel was under no illusions that the children would simply be approached away from school grounds, but there wasn't much she could do about that. She'd sent out warnings to parents and had the form tutors give instructions not to talk to anyone, and that was as much as was possible.

The sound of her door opening had her turning around. She was distinctly unsurprised to see Eddie- he was just about the only person who walked in without knocking, especially out of hours. He grinned at her, and she was almost amazed to find herself smiling back without a thought. "How was your day?"

She grimaced. "Not quite the start to the new year I was hoping for. But better than yesterday."

He snorted. "That's not hard. I wanted to talk to you about tonight."

Her stomach dropped, but she forced a light smile. "You cancelling on me?"

"Not a chance." He grinned that half-grin that had warmth kindling within her chest, even as she relaxed and smiled happily at his assurance.

"Did you have a plan?"

And at that, he shrugged, looking uncertain. "Well, originally, I'd planned to take you to dinner, but after today I thought that might be a bit much, so… I was wondering if you'd like to come to mine and I'll cook?"

"You can cook?" she asked quietly, clamping down on her emotions. Honestly, she wasn't a schoolgirl anymore, what was wrong with her?

"Nothing special, but not too shabby." He mimed brushing down a jacket, a faux-haughty look on his face and she giggled slightly.

"That sounds nice," she agreed, and meant it with all her heart. They arranged a time, and she found herself unable to concentrate on the remainder of her paperwork as her thoughts kept drifting to that evening. He wasn't expecting anything, she knew. Genuinely didn't want anything other than her company. It was novel, and meant that she was looking forward to the evening more than she ever had a date before.

When she realised she'd been contemplating that for a while without a single signature on the papers in front of her, she finally gave up, practically throwing her things into her bag before she made her way out. The corridors were deserted, the cleaners not there yet and the kids had all hurried home. The car park was almost empty too, so she felt no guilt at leaving to go home. Not that she was there long- a quick shower, she changed into a jumper and a pair of jeans, ran a brush through her hair and she was back in her car. This was different, she recognised, refusing to feel nervous. Eddie was different… but maybe that was a good thing.

Eddie barely had time to breath after walking through the door before setting his plan into motion. Why was it his own stupid idea to suggest cooking for them? He had regretted the words as soon as they'd left his lips, knowing he had absolutely no ingredients in to even start with a simple meal. But the look of relief on Rachel's face when he mentioned it had made it all worth while, grateful that he was being given the opportunity to improve her day even slightly. It had been rough for everyone, but at least he was able to escape the previous day's events even slightly by teaching in his classroom. He knew it would be hard on Rachel, but the knots in her shoulders from where he had felt earlier proved that she wasn't coping as well as it looked like she was.

He had waisted most of his time since leaving work aimlessly trailing the aisles of Waitrose, suddenly worrying about not knowing Rachel's favourite meal or her specific meat preferences. Would she care what he cooked? He tried to memorize each time he'd caught lunch in her office with her and what she'd eaten. Whilst deciding between two different colour peppers, he stopped himself and let out a laugh. His aim was to improve her day and get to know her, not impress her with a 5 star dish. Rolling his eyes, he immediately decided on a simple spaghetti dish and set about getting the ingredients.

His food shop meltdown had set him back far more time than he wished, so he had to prepare his sauce before having the quickest shower in history and hoping the shirt he pulled from his wardrobe matched the jeans he had on. He turned up the radio whilst blitzing together some biscuits for his cheesecake base, finally allowing himself to get excited about their first date. His excitement mixed with nerves as he realized how much he wanted it to work, how much he ached for her approval and wanted to have her smile in his presence.

However, all of his previous worries melted away when he heard a knock on the door. He threw the tea towel over his shoulder after wiping his hands, pausing in front of the mirror to check his hair before opening the door.

He took a deep breath and pulled it open. The sight before him stole his breath, and stopped his heart at the same time. Rachel had kept in with the theme of a casual dinner, but a simple change into jeans and a comfy jumper had his pulse racing. "You look stunning." He commented honestly, hoping his words came out sincere. He wanted her to feel appreciated, to know how much it meant to him that she was allowing him into this part of her life.

Rachel immediately blushed under his gaze, tucking her hair behind her ear in the way she always did when nervous. "Thank you." Her reply was sincere, her voice tainted with the anxiety she felt at opening herself up to a new relationship. She was scared, terrified at the butterflies she felt in her stomach whenever they were near each other. They had only grown in intensity since they had admitted their feelings, and had reached fever pitch now she was stood in front of him. However, before she could allow herself to wallow in any more of her self doubts and worries, she took a deep breath and stopped in her tracks. "Eddie?"

"Yes?" He replied immediately, hanging onto her every word as if she placed the stars in the sky herself.

"Is something burning?"

His eyes widened, and he wheeled around and dashed back into the kitchen, not even minding when the sounds of her giggles drifted through to him. She trailed after him, watching from the doorway as he set about rescuing whatever it was, enjoying the rare ability to simply look, without worrying about being caught. Eddie cussed under his breath as he opened a window and she pressed her lips together to stop more laughter leaking out.

She wasn't nervous anymore.

She walked forward, sliding her arm around his waist as she peered into the pot. "Salvageable?" she questioned, not noticing the way he looked down at her in surprise, which quickly turned into a pleased smile as he wrapped his arm around her to give her a quick squeeze.

"Yeah. Pasta okay?"

"Sounds good."

"There's wine in the fridge, if you want to get some out? Glasses in there." He nodded towards the cupboard, and they worked in comfortable silence, broken by the soft music from the radio. She brought the wine over and took it upon herself to set the table, finishing just as he'd dished up, only realising when she looked over to him and found him staring at her with an inscrutable expression on his face.

"What?"

He shook himself slightly. "Nothing." He carried the plates over and set them down before he leant over and kissed her gently.

She smiled at him. "What was that for?"

"Because I can," he shrugged, pulling out her chair before dropping into his own and silently delighting in the crimson blush that covered her cheeks, even as she fought the smile that was obvious anyway.

They ate and spoke mindless chatter, discussing their day and Eddie's weekend plans with Michael. Things with Alison had gotten marginally better since Rachel's involvement, he'd even broken down and admitted his feelings to her whilst asking for advice over the summer. He was at a loss after calling the hospital and being refused information, and it happened just as Alison was bringing Michael over. The results were Eddie shedding a tear of frustration and asking his ex-wife for advice. Luckily, she was sympathetic. She admitted to knowing there was a spark between the two of them since the first moment she had met them, laughing at how long it had taken him to catch on.

Now, as Eddie watched Rachel stand to gather their dishes, he wondered how he had managed to wait this long. "Leave them Rach, I'll get them." He got up to join her as she cleaned, and let out a soft laugh at how domestic it all was. She looked up at his laugh and caught on to his way of thinking, her own eyes shining with a smile for the very same reason. This is what she'd always wanted, especially with him. They cleaned in comfortable silence, and Eddie picked up a bottle of wine with two glasses. He gestured for Rachel to follow him into his living room, which she did with a hand to his back. She loved any excuse to be in contact with him. Eddie watched her as she took her place next to him, and noticed just how perfect she looked in his home. However, he knew they wouldn't be able to go much further in their relationship until they had the harsh conversations that came with being a couple.

"Rachel, I really don't want to ruin this day." He approached the conversation delicately, but noticed the drop in her face.

Rachel felt like her world had dropped from beneath her, wondering exactly what Eddie was going to say. "Then don't." Her words were a whisper, a hint of desperation in her voice.

"God Rach, nothing that bad." He reassured immediately, taking hold of her hands and pulling her to him. He couldn't resist a quick kiss to her lips, immediately regretting his harsh wording of what should have been a simple conversation. "I just wanted to say, I haven't forgotten what you said about Melissa. About having someone to trust. And I need to say this now.. now you know how I feel. I hope I can be that for you too." He felt pathetic as soon as the words were spoken, like a jealous school boy with a crush. He simply wanted Rachel to know how serious he was, how much she meant to him and how he wasn't going to hurt her or allow anyone else to.

Rachel knew that Eddie had been fretting over her words since she said them, and knew she needed to rectify the situation. She had flashbacks of the look on his face when she had said the comment to him, and knew she had a lot of making up to do. "Eddie, I'm so sorry." She figured that was a good place to start, and emphasised her words by squeezing his hands. "I was wrong, so wrong. I've always been able to trust you, more than anyone. But these walls.. it's so hard for me to see past them sometimes and that's where I go wrong. A long time ago.." she trailed off, biting her lip to stop the tears from falling.

"Rach, you don't need to-"

"Yes I do Eddie." She cut him off, looking him dead in the eye as she continued. "You need to hear this. A long time ago, I told myself nobody would ever love me. That I'd be on my own, and I dealt with that. With knowing that I could only trust family, because they had to love me, you know? I've buried myself in these walls of security for the longest time, not letting anyone in. And then you show up. I didn't even have to let you in, it happened so naturally. But that scared me, so I ran. I ran from you and I ran from my feelings. I'm so sorry for that."

Eddie let her finish, cupping her face in his hands and touching their noses together. "How about.. no more running?"

"That sounds nice," she confessed, one hand coming up to cover his. "I do want this, Eddie. Very much."

"So do I."

And then they were kissing, moving so that they were pressed together as tightly as their positions allowed, Eddie's arms wrapping around her as if to shield her from the outside world. As much as she'd spent most of her life fighting to stand on her own two feet, she couldn't deny that the feeling was nice.

He tugged on her, sending her lurching forwards with a yelp, landing half on top of him, squashed against the back of the sofa. He chuckled at the sound, pressing his lips to her head. "Sorry,"

"No you're not," she grumbled good-naturedly, wiggling into a more comfortable position. They lay there for a moment, legs entwined, her head resting on his shoulder. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." His fingers trailed up and down her spine.

"Why me?"

He blinked, looking down at her. "Sorry?"

"Why me?" she repeated, propping her chin on her hand to look at him more easily. "What in the name of sanity made you look at me and think: 'yes, her.'?"

He snorted. "Sweetheart, don't you know I never had a choice?"

She looked at him quizzically.

"Honestly, Rach. You came in all fire and fierceness and half the school was prepared to hate you on principal-,"

"You included?"

He shrugged a shoulder, grinning at her. "Pretty much. And then it turned out that all that was a veneer… a frankly hot one."

She hit him in the shoulder, blushing a brilliant red.

"You feel everything, so deeply, Rach." His serious tone had her staring at him in surprise. "I see it. The kids… you don't do what you do because you think it's your job, you do it because you care. About each of them. Their successes and failures, each one affects you personally. And I know that every snide comment or whisper you pretend you don't hear hurts you, even though you act like it doesn't."

"Eddie…"

He brushed his thumb across her cheek, smiling at her. "I see it," he repeated. "I see you. Even when you don't want to be seen."

She leant forward to kiss him gently, lingering for a moment before drawing back to look at him. "You're the only person in the world who has ever looked at me like that," she murmured.

"Like what?"

"Like you think I'm… special."

"You are," he said instantly.

She shook her head. "I'm just me."

"Don't you get it?" he looked amused. "That is special."

She was bright red, and shook her head. "I regret starting this conversation," she muttered, avoiding his eyes. He laughed, and pulled her closer to kiss her, revelling in the fact he was allowed to do so.

"You are," he insisted. "And one day, I'm going to make you believe it."

He sounded so sure of himself, that she almost believed he would.

Somewhere along the way, she began to believe his words herself. She believed that he thought she was amazing, that she was special to him. And that's all that really mattered, to her anyway. Eddie always was amazing, but the way he stood by her even on her darkest days was something she never felt she deserved.

No matter what happened during the work day, it was forgotten at the door as soon as they left the confines of the office. Their home became their safe haven, especially when they made it official and purchased their own house. Despite the fact that they both had high paying jobs, Rachel insisted on a small home for her and her family. She wasn't a lavish person, and enjoyed every second of hunting for a real home. She'd never had one before, especially not with someone else. She simply wanted somewhere safe to return to at the end of the day, and that's exactly what she got.

It had rooms for Michael and Phillip too, of course. Rachel had grown close to both her nephew and stepson over the time of her relationship with Eddie. On the eve of their wedding, Michael even told her that he loved her. That was the greatest gift she could have received, as she lay cuddled with her family in the living room. They chose to spend that special night together, not feeling the need to continue with tradition. "Rachel, you're my boss. Tradition left the window the minute we met." And how could Rachel argue that? She didn't, and the day went off without a hitch. Surrounded by their close family, friends and colleagues, they promised to love and support one another for as long as they both shall live.

Neither Rachel or Eddie had felt happiness like it. Able to spend all day together at work, and being able come home to the loves of their lives was a feeling they cherished each day they woke up. Always the dynamic duo, they bounced off each other with their shared passion for helping the students but knowing that their work life stayed there. Their marriage worked by keeping professional and personal lives separate, and knowing to never go to sleep on an argument.

They kept those values when Rachel approached the subject of adoption. She had been given the heartbreaking news at the age of only 25 that she'd never be able to have her own children, and had waited for the right person to share that news with. Seeing Eddie with Michael broke her heart, and she crumbled before him as she spilled her deepest secret. She wanted children, ached for a family with Eddie. Luckily, her ever understanding husband rocked her gently before discussing their options. He wanted anything she wanted, would support her in any decision she decided to make.

As soon as Rachel saw the face of 4 year old Alfie, she had Eddie's full support. They completed the required checks and forms, only to be told that Alfie also had a 3 week old still-nameless sister. Eddie hadn't even seen a photo before he agreed, looking at Rachel to gage her reaction. She nodded wordlessly, tears in her eyes as her dream finally came true.

Michael helped as they walked through the door with Alfie and Grace in tow, showing his new brother the room they would be sharing with great excitement.

With her boys chatting next door, Rachel lay the baby down in the nursery before looking out of the window. Not long after, Eddie slid his arms around her waist from behind and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Are you happy Rach?" He asked sincerely, comforted by the soft snores of the sleeping baby in the cot next to them.

"I didn't think being this happy was possible." Her reply was honest, a lump in her throat at just how true the statement was. This was it, all she'd ever wanted. That - and so much more.


End file.
